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Is that dog shit? No, it's just Twilight
Tuesday. 11.25.08 1:21 am
With the release of the Twilight movie, I thought I'd just share with everyone some of the best critiques of the Twilight series.
Why Bella is a joke:
Mary Sue (aka Bella Swan) is a character of impossibility. She's completely ordinary, finds that she doesn't relate well with other humans. What was that? She's accepted to a table at lunch with a clique right away? And she suddenly has 5 different guys falling head over heels for her, 2 of which are mythical beasts who are ALSO incredibly hot.
Bella's care for her family isnonexistent.
Sure, she doesn't want the vampires to hurt them. But again, they're just like her disposable friends. Throw them away once you're done with them. Yes children, that's how we treat our friends! Let's all be like Bella! And remember kids, never call your parents "mom" and "dad"! That's Charlie and RenĂ©e to you!
May I mention that Bella is a complete bitch?
She cries, cries a little more, hugs her abusive boyfriend, and gets what she wants. Her dad buys her a car, and what does Bella think? Crap, my dad's buying me a car. OMFG! I love it!Yeeeeeeeeah. She also claims that she loves Alice like a sister, yet brushes her off and hates to do anything that Alice enjoys. Some friend. Can't even have any dreams besides her wonderful vampire boyfriend. -.-
Now onto Edward:
Perfect guy? I don't think so. Does Edward possibly have a personality? Well, he's exhibited signs of some knowledge in the field of sarcasm, and some talent at playing the piano. Wow. There's enough personality there to make up for all the Mario characters combined! Edward's only known traits are the fact that he's hot, smart, and everything a girl could wish for. Besides a sense of humor, of course.
Edward is also the biggest control freak in the universe of Fiction. When Bella wants to say goodbye to her dad (in her own not so original way), he says:"You have fifteen minutes. Do you hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."
So our ever-perfect Edward Cullen is demanding his ever-perfect girlfriend to haul ass and ditch her father? Yup. I sure hope everyone who wants a boyfriend like him gets one. Then they'll see how much fun it is to have an uber sexy guy who stalks you and tells you what to do. It's sad how many people like him.
I know plenty of people have realized it, but their relationship is lust, not love. Have they ever shared a conversation that wasn't about Bella's safety or asking nosy questions? No. They claim that they love each other more than anything, but they usually just talk about how hot the other is. Beautiful Swan and Beautiful Cullen. Edward and Bella get married for the same reason as Romeo and Juliet. Lust. Of course, Romeo and Juliet had an ending that was worth knowing.And they didn't have a magic kid. After Bella and Edward get married, their goal should be to get know each other more and spend time with with their daughter, right? Wrong again. They spend their nights doing it and spend the day using up all the idiotic sappy phrases Meyer thinks of. Wow, that sounds like fun!
So get a life, because falling in love with a beautifully uninteresting fictional vampire just shows how superficial you really are.
(PS. Please don't contribute my dislike to the Twilight Series to "omg, you ToTaLlY h8 it just cuz EDWARD omfg is just so HAWT and cuz Kelly likes him n ur just SO jealous!" For your information, Kelly actually isn't obsessed about how HAWT Edward is.)
(PPS. Best Twilight fanfic I've ever read.)
I must digress; though I seem hateful towards Meyers, I'm not. Her writing, while not close to prodigious, is decent and conveys much emotion. I respect her, for having the balls to write professionally.
Wikipedia: "Mary Sue, sometimes shortened simply to Sue, is a pejorative term used to describe a fictional character who plays a major role in the plot and is particularly characterized by overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet"."
Sorry, guys, but this was my last post. I'm now at my new site, http://zivyleague.blogspot.com, so feel free to come check me out. It's mostly going be tailored to students looking to get into American Universities... so.
BACK on the NuTANG, baby.
Friday. 11.14.08 12:32 am
OMFG. I haven't written on my blog for so freaking long, it's actually quite ridiculous. To let y'all know... I've been pretty hung up with school and the like recently. It's been crazy! So we have theatre, right? Have you ever stayed at school until 11 pm, every day, FOR 2 WEEKS?
I felt like I lived there for a while. AND now, since that stint is over, I feel like I have nothing to do now, no purpose in life.
On that topic of having no purpose... I've recently come to the conclusion that life has no purpose anymore. Seriously. Think about it. Those parents you have? One day, they're going to be gone. Shazam. Ne'er there to give you advice or reprimands ever again. Depressing, eh? And we're on the Earth for a relatively short amount of time. What's the point of trying? We're all just bags of water.
Wednesday. 1.9.08 10:28 pm
Alright. Got back from a California road trip. Pretty fun. Family in a sedan for 2 days there and 2 days back. Loads of shopping. New suit. Pretty pimping... hahah. But I was actually sick with pneumonia-like symptoms, so that sucked.
And... I MIGHT BE GETTING FIRED. damn man. Cuz I forgot to tell my boss about my vacation, and then I missed 2 shifts. Gah. Still gotta talk to him about that. Not looking forward to this Friday. Man, I don't want to lose my job. Big money. Wte. Not too happy about that.
And I'm finally finishing up on Claire de Lune and Pathetique. Yes, for piano. Stupid RCM exams. Freaking hardass pieces.
Saturday. 11.24.07 2:14 am
Wow long time no post, eh? That's alright. I'm pretty gonna roll out a bit more shizzle once I get my schedule cleared out.
In the meantime, I've gotten a job: P/T Sales for Footwear at Coast Mountain sports! Woot! That's some pretty mean stuff right there. Load of cash rolling in. This was how I got hired:
Z: yo, just dropping off my application.
C: cool, let me call darren for you.
*calls darren, the manager*
D: hey, glad to see you're applying here. i'll call you in the next week or so, i'm getting pretty busy with new hires.
Z: alright.... see you.
*2 minutes later, cell rings*
D: hey, i got to look at your resume. pretty impressive!*
*10 minute totally unprepared interview*
D: you're hired!
Z: FUCK YEAH.
In other news, I ran down the stairs of 92 story house carrying the one possession I care about, my piano. This was because my house was invaded by evil flying monkeys. With axes. o.O
Peace out, fools. Updates in a bit.
Wednesday. 4.25.07 9:04 pm
Surrey Math Test...
Friday. 3.2.07 5:56 pm
Math test for Surrey High schools
1. Sandhar has half a kilo of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Ranjit>for $300 and 90 grams to Avtar for $90 a gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
2. Tyrone pimps 3 whores. If the price is $40 a trick, how many tricks>per day must each whore perform to support Tyrone's $500 a day crack habit?
3. Lo Ping wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for $7,000 to make 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Tony got 6 years for murder. He also received $350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends $33,100 per month, how much money will be left when gets out?
(Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Tony get for killing the bitch that spent his money?)
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square meter, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Kwok steals Hareem's skateboard. As Kwok skates away at a speed of 35 kph, Hareem loads his brother's piece. If it takes Hareem 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Kwok have traveled when he gets whacked?
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